Imagine with me for a while; what occurs within a family when a member dies. Imagine the disbelief, the confusion, the concerns about money for the funeral, where to find important documents, how will the family survive with the bread winner gone, the mounting bills, How will the children respond, how can we go on! All this coupled with a growing sense of grief and many details to be considered and decided for the funeral. Realistic, is it not. Although this experience can be bewildering all is not lost. This and other articles seek to educate readers so that costly pitfalls can be avoided by a lack of preparation. To be privy to sound trust worthy information can lead to good judgments and cost effective decisions resulting in the family surviving the experience united and strong.
In this and continuing articles I will share the truth about funeral service and honestly dispel the many myths. Together we will talk about many topics from ethical concerns to wills, estate matters and grief. At the end of each week I will invite you to email or FAX your questions to me and in following articles I will tell all about your concerns.
I am Keith Belgrove CFSP Chief Executive Officer of Belgroves Memorial Centre with locations across Trinidad and Tobago. I am the only holder of the Certified Funeral Service Practitioner designation in our nation. This prestigious designation is conferred upon qualified Funeral Directors that distinguish them selves in the funeral service profession through engaging in continuing education. I entered my family funeral service business in 1968 and hold a diploma in Business Administration 1972 and in Funeral Directing and Embalming 1974. I serve in an advisory capacity to the National Funeral Directors Association of the USA the largest such organization in the world for three consecutive years.
There are many faucets to funeral service from Pre Planning to At Need services to Post need support. There are tremendous benefits of pre planning a funeral. When a family meets to create a tribute to celebrate the life that has ended for them they are faced with arriving at more than two hundred and fifty major and minor decisions. All of this has to be accomplished within a few days in the confusing reality of the opinions of spouse, children, grand children, friends and family. Family members from Tobago to the scattered diasporas must be informed, someone must meet with the doctor or the pathologist, a funeral home of your choice to be selected and the many details of planning the funeral. You must decide on the selection the clothes to be used, the names for the media and consider the efforts not to omit the names of important family members. The visit to the church and selecting the best pictures to represent the life that has ended. Who will do the eulogy, how to write it and persons to bring tributes and many more decisions to be determined.
Often death occurs at home and a funeral home must be selected immediately so let us start with the selection of a funeral home. We consider the family right to select a funeral home without undue influence by any funeral home and or their commission agents to be as sacred right. I strongly recommend that when selecting a funeral home a family should select a funeral home based on a proven track record of quality delivery and value for your hard earned dollars. Select a funeral home based on the empathy and extreme satisfaction experienced by previous users. Ensure that the funeral home you select employ qualified embalmers and present facilities that are attractive, safe and comfortable, offering private offices which allow privacy given the confidential nature of your discussions. Ensure that the investment you make when purchasing a funeral is well within your budget. A funeral home practicing the highest business ethics will advise you to avoid emotional spending.
Many of the stresses of planning a funeral at the time of need can be easily avoided. In this life we plan for many things; being employed, getting married and raising a family, the children’s education, even vacations but the one thing that we will inevitably experience we unwisely avoid and do nothing. In my opinion pre-planning a funeral is an act of love for your family. Your children are grown with families of their own. Often they are caught up with monthly budgeting for groceries, entertainment, the mortgage, car loan installment, school books and uniforms among the many demands of monthly family earnings. Finding funding for the funeral then results in a sudden significant deepening of debt for those you love. Should this not be avoided, is it not easier to put aside the fear most persons experience when the thought of end of life issues arise and do the right thing. I recommend every family should engage a funeral home of their choice well ahead of need to create and document details that will be urgently required by survivors at a later time. In your living years fund your funeral. At Belgroves an exercise in per planning takes a person through our many faceted of pre planning program. Explore your personal preferences for a religious service, the hymns, flowers clothing, and the casket. Maybe even leave your message to your surviving family. An experienced and qualified Funeral Director will guide you through options of cremation versus burial and many other details. The final cost is determined based on your choices. A great advantage of pre-planning a funeral is that you are making decisions well ahead of being burdened by the stress of an actual death in the family. Pre planning also offers many very affordable options for funding a funeral.
Another very important aspect of pre planning invites you to prepare a Will. Many people are afraid of planning a will. Somewhere securely anchored at the back of our minds is the fear that if one writes a will then death is near. If this myth held any shadow of truth I will have been long dead. My first will was completed when I was aged twenty five. I leave it to your imagination to guess how long ago that was. A will is a legal document by way of which you identify your assets and liabilities and determine in your good senses to whom you choose to distribute your assets. I promise to dedicate one article exclusively to this topic. Next week I plan to share information about ‘At need funeral planning.’ I invite your questions. Send them by email, ceo@ belgroves.com or FAX to 660 2178. Blessings to all.
